Fartin’ Martin – as he came to be known at Yoga for Blokes, comes from Manchester. Martin endeared himself to us with his sense of humour and deep laugh. His nickname isn’t in vain. Martin along with another chap from Manchester, could be spectacular at yogic farting.
If you research ‘how to fart’ on the internet, various positions and attitudes are prescribed. Yoga it would seem, induces flatulence. All the yoga classes I attended before Yoga for Blokes were predominantly female. Women instructors, very few men. In my experience, it wasn’t considered amusing or ‘ok’ to fart in class.
On one occasion we were doing yogic rocking. I was positioned near the instructor. As I rocked upright I let out a trouser cough, fit for a king! I looked straight at the instructor – she just rolled her eyes, as if nothing happened! Stifling my mirth, I pretended the noise came from the wooden floor and ‘tested the boards’ to avoid further embarrassment.
As my grandfather used to say: ‘It’s a sad arse that never rejoices’. Fartin’ Martin would often surrender to healthy laughter when things got windy. In fact we all did. I consider it a great achievement to see a group of grown men, writhing about on the floor laughing because some building site manager let off noisily.
Sadly, Martin has retired from yoga for the time being. His knees were troubling him; often a cause of problems for men attending yoga. Work or sport damages knees; yoga can be demanding of the knee joints.
Twisting during rugby or site boots with steel arches can cause chronic knee problems. Steel arches prevent feet from rolling naturally whilst walking. The bones of the lower leg (Tibia and Fibula) jar against the knee joint, compressing cartilage and tendons against the femur in the upper leg. Over time this wears the joint, especially if you do a lot of walking in site boots.
Alternatively you could wear hiking boots, if you don’t have to adopt mandatory safety wear. This won’t be a solution for everyone. Other factors like nutrition, physiognomy and hereditary influences come into play. Yoga can help, by alleviating overall muscular stress in the body and re-aligning major muscle groups.
Martin joined Yoga for Blokes when we were still using pub function rooms. He recalls being at the Railway with very low temperatures and broken glass on the floor! Martin shared his predilection for the Grattan’s catalogue and how people used to eat tripe at UCP (United Cattle Products) shops in Manchester – during times when things weren’t quite so digital, soft and nice. We hope your knee op is a success Fartin’ Martin; even if you can’t do Padmasana, you might just turn up and fart.
What a great article. Speedy recovery to Martin and I shall refer to all future farts as “trouser coughs”.